And at home, and reduced to reading poetry. Everyone should read poetry. And the Peanuts. You’ll learn all you need to about life from poetry and the Peanuts. And Pratchett. Hey! That’s three Ps!
I still haven’t been able to scan my cringe inducing pictures, but don’t think I’ve forgotten. No no! It’s coming. Wait for it. But till then, I’m making lists in my head:
You know you are from Bombay if:
1. It is always Bombay not Mumbai (unless you are speaking in Marathi); VT, not CST; Sahar and Santacruz airports and not CST domestic and international. Screw you, Sena.
2. It’s Badal Bijli area, even though the theatre was demolished before you were born.
3. You have never been to Elephanta Caves, the Prince of Wales Museum and Victoria gardens, except on school trips.
4. Goans=pavs, Manglorean Christians = Maka pavs, East Indians = Gutli pavs.
5. You start getting defensive even before you board the crowded train.
6. At least one movie star/model, went to your school, college, or tution classes.
7. You hate the Biharis, Punjus, Gujjus, Marwaris, bhaiyyas, south indians and even other Bombayittes. At least you don’t single a community out.
8. You hate Delhi above all.
9. Sometimes, you even hate Bombay, but wouldn’t exchange your chawl room for a flat in Delhi.
10. Short holidays are spent at Matheran.
Good ways to die
1. Being trampled underfoot galloping puppies.
2. Diet coke overdose
3. Raspberry soda overdose
4. Mid-fall from an airplane, but only after you’ve enjoyed a lot of the fall
5. In your sleep, just before issue closing
Things I love about my life right now
1. Morning shift
2. That I work with a school friend
3. The entity called Gitali or Mitanjali (Makes critically-acclaimed pages)
4. My grandma gets a heart attack because she has been dancing for three hours.
5. I work in a heritage site and right across the station