Tolerance level: Zero

By the time I walked into my friend’s birthday bash of debauchery, Wild Child A was already on the high couch, gyrating. Her arms in the air with a cigarette held like a beacon for the men in the room.

Below her was a salivating huddle of people whose faces I could not see. Introduction was futile. The music was too loud to hear names.

Wild Child A called to Wild Child B to join her. They did some mock lesbian-tangling dance while the huddle cheered. Then the birthday boy joined them and did a his-front-to-her-ass gyrating.

When a remix of Another Brick in the Wall played, to our right, there were some synchronised head banging and high-hand signs.

And they sang long after the song was over.

I often whine about how I never had nightlife. One, which wasn’t spent poring over proofs with Cohen groaning in the background.
I was never cool enough to pub-hopped. I was pun-hopping. Ahem. Ignore that.

And when I do get a chance to go, I hate it. I hate the crowd. I hate the darkness, the loud music, the whole strange-elbow-in-my-ear experience.

I wonder what the women are doing. I may wrap myself over a dark, mourning poet in a jiffy in an extremely drunken state. But woman, please, have some class.

That’s young K-Fed you are tonguing there. And god knows what toilet bowl he’s been licking.


6 thoughts on “Tolerance level: Zero

  1. i’ve never had a night life either. and when i have gone out and thoroughly hated the experience, i’ve secretly wondered if i just wasn’t cool enough. but it’s good to know that there *are* cool people who have never had night lives and hate them 🙂

  2. Aditi: See that’s hegemony. I was standing there thinking exactly that I would never be cool enough to choose this as a night out. I was also thinking I’m probably too old.
    Sriram: Dude, mushroom is so old. It’s all about organic, vegan grass now — at Fair Trade

  3. “Pun hopping”? That hurt.

    That kind of night life is for retards. It’s the same people that eat Hershey’s.


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