There really was nothing funny left to say

Conversation sample

Ahmed: Get me bottle of water man
Jaison: Get it yourself fucker.
Ahmed: WTF, laude. Get me the bottle na
Jaison: What man bhenchod. You get it na, it’s right there
Ahmed: Yeah, but I’ll have to get up
Me: WILL YOU STOP THE FUCKING BICKERING
Jaison: Why are you so grumpy Tatya?
Ahmed: Yeah. Why are you so mean to us?
Me: I.AM.NOT.BEING.MEAN
Jaison: Sure your not. You’re being vaginal
Ahmed: Stop being vaginal Tatya


And thus the adjective of the trip was coined. When I spoke, it was a vaginal monologue dialogue.

***

Ahmed: Dude stop littering. Captain Planet will not be pleased.
Jaison: I’m leaving a trail for Candice.
Tatya: My blog is writing itself, people.

***
In the 30 minutes it took us to walk to the ATM in Delhi and back to our bus, Jaison had:
One glass of jal-jeera (Very green and spicy, good!)

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Half a plate of chole-bhature (disappointing)
One plate tikki chaat
One plate dahi bhalle
Some pani puri (We were Delh-ied. The guy charged us Rs 75 for this meal at a road-side stall. Come to Bombay, you buggah and we’ll push you into a local at peak hours for this)

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One glass sugarcane juice (Not so bad)
And six ice lollies. Cream Bell in Delhi has fantastic ice-lollies — (real) strawberry, (real) grape, kewda (which is like eating an incense stick), orange and litchi.

I love this lolly

I’m a whore for fruit lollies.

***
Hello Delhi

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We’ve heard of your crimes against women, your unsafe roads and your killer buses. We’ll just eat your food and be on our way, if it’s all the same to you. (When Ahmed has the camera, you can be sure the only good angles are his)

***

More about our adventures — paragliding, monkey attacks, and how we almost missed the flight because someone was shopping for clothes (and it was not me) — coming soon.

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4 thoughts on “There really was nothing funny left to say

  1. Ketaki: Kewda is a flower, as is Ketki/Ketaki. It’s brown in colour and very fragnant. You get agarbatti sticks and gajras of it. Not that good in an ice lolly.
    Nidhi: The chole bhature was disappointing. I expected better, but the Jaljeera was fantastic.

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