I try to be kind

Dear celebrity,

Some day you may die unexpectedly. And then you will get famous. Those you leave behind will fight over your babies, fortunes and rights to home-shot pornographic MMSes. Some journalist will be forced to carry these accounts because people are terribly interested.
She will want to use a picture that will lend you some dignity. But you have not been helpful in your short lifetime. All she finds is this.

anna_nicole_smith_002.jpg

And then she will worry about people thinking she is homophobic. She isn’t. She just likes good taste.

Regards,
Educated Tatya

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