Me and merlin want to embark on an adventure but are hesitating at the backdoor. We heard about colon irrigation and its many *benefits and launched Operation Bumpipe.
We found this place which has packages you’d have to pay through your arse for, so it seemed right.
Unfortunately, merlin’s cousin, a surgeon, says this could be LIFE THREATENING. Puss, bleeding and other damages were mentioned.
We not want to die while taking a shit, especially because we will be paying in advance. Have any of you done something like this, or know of someone who has, and lived to flush?
Please let us know.
In return, I will blog about the indignity and discomfort we suffer if we do go through with it. You’d like that wouldn’t you?
The other day, I dreamt me and merlin were at the aforementioned centre and it was like a spa. We were given a massage, prompting me to tell merlin THIS was what we were paying for. He went without an incident, but when it was my turn, a photographer from office showed up at the place.
He took pictures of me getting out of the tub. I argued with him and tried to take his camera away, but it was difficult while hanging on to a towel and wearing face-pack.
You think it’s a sign?
* Apparently it expels the kilos of gunk that is accumulated in your large intestine and then speeds up the metabolism. I am too lazy to exercise or diet but don’t mind having someone stick up a tube up me **bum.
** I am not constipated. I go like clockwork, just so you know. I am just perversely curious.