Some get updates to Steve Job’s key-notes, others get this

In my mailbox, from merlin

Mail 1:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAHAHAH.
Watching some random hindi flick. Mithun and some chick. Driving in a Jeep on a bridge:
Mithun: Jise chaha tha usi se shaadi ho gayi. Aaysa kabhi socha bhi nahin tha. Meri khushi ko kisi ki nazar nahin lag jaye.
/cue for villian to step on to the road with a gun
/gunshots to the jeep. jeep window cracks, hits the side of the bridge. Chick falls off from the side of the Jeep, hits her head on the bridge and falls into the water. Mithun jumps behind her. Chick’s memory returns in flashback, on account of the head hitting metal bridge, duh. Turns out she is married to Ganga and has a kid.
Mithun: Ganga? Accha hua tumhari yaadash vaapas aagayi. Warna mein Ganga ko kya mu dikha ta.
Jamuna (the chick): Tum Ganga ko jaante ho?
Mithun: Hahn, woh mera bachpan ka dost hai. Chalo mein tumha uske paas le jata hoon.
/cue villian to reappear. shoots Mithun in the back or shoulder or somewhere. Mithun (who is called Shankar, I just learned) asks Jamuna to meet Ganga in some mandir and runs after the villian himself. Dishum dishum dishum. He drags the villian down a waterfall and dies a hero. Cue song: Hum toh chaale hum toh chaale…
Jamuna turns up at the train station (I thought he said Mandir!) and tries to sell her wedding bangles to the TC cause he won’t let her ride without tickets. Old maajee comes to her rescue: shaadi ke kangan bechna abshukan hai. Blah blah. AMITABH IN THE TRAIN! OMG! AMITABH IS JAMUNA!!! Train people are bored. Maajee wants song and dance. Ganga volunteers “Aap izajat de toh me gaaoon?” Saajan mera us paar hai / Milne ko dil bekarar hai
US PAAR IS THE OTHER COACH. Amitabh hears song, he is looking into the coach from the outside but Jamuna is sitting next to the door and is not visible to Ganga! DUH!!!
OMG BEST MOVIE EVER!!!
Kadmon mein unke hi sansar hai / Yeh toh janmo janmo ka pyaar hai
DAMN BREAK HAPPENED!!!

Mail 2:
Kuch badnasib musafir aase bhi hote hain, jinki manjil toh karib hoti hai, lekin raasta hi khatam ho jata hain. HOLY SHIT AMRISH PURI IS THE PUJARI IN MANDIR!!! Amitabh just drank some cow piss and fainted. AMRISH PURI IS THE THAKUR VILLIAN! I guess the movie is called Ganga aur Jamuna? Or something like that. Tere wazhe se saap ne mere beete ko kaata, aur uske dono aakhein chali gayi…MUST.RESIST.WATCHING.FURTHER.

Mail 3:
Amitabh just got rescued from being eaten by crocodiles by a snake 0.o 5bucks says Jamuna sacrifices herself to save Ganga and his nava wife. Or maybe navi wife sacrifices herself? Jamuna has bigger tits than navi wife and is not afraid to show them. THE SUSPENCE.

Mail 4:
Ganga Jamuna aur Saraswati!!!!!!
Vastra haran time!!!!!! Amrish Puri: inka abh vastra haran hoga, aur is baar koi krishna nahin aayega
Amitabh enters with a crocodile tied up on his back. WHY AM I STILL WATCHING THIS?!

Mail 5:
Big tits win out. Saraswati dies. YAY! JUSTICE! Ganga and Jamuna ka milan total *wink wink*

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