Evolution: any process of formation or growth

1. When the label on Dettol says, ‘Dilute if using as mouthwash’, Follow it. You can’t dilute it in your mouth; you’ll lose the tip of your tongue before you reach the tap. This is not a challenge.

2. The tip of your tongue recognises salt. If you burn it, say because you tried to dilute Dettol in your mouth, meals will be tasteless. For three days.

3. Home-made kajal is oil based. While evicting it from a container, use a stick to lever out the lump. Don’t scoop it out with your finger. Don’t rub your finger on your hand. Don’t rub your hands together. Don’t wipe your hands on your pants. Just step away from the kajal and no-one gets hurt.

4. Don’t bleach your face while wearing a top you like. You will get it on that and it will discolour. Don’t stare at it wistfully later. Or wear it outdoors. People will notice and then you’ll have to explain it.

5. You realise your nose-pin won’t come out, despite tugging it for a week. You can’t evict it by pushing another pin from the inside whole. At some point you’ll have two pins stuck half-way into your nose. Also, you’ll need help for the manoeuvre. You’re partner will have to hold up your nose, while you pull the nostril wide and try to shove in the pin.
The rest of your relationship will be awkward.

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