God, I need to write here

I really want to write more here. But either I am exhausted or just don’t have the mind mechanisms to sculpt a post (what’s point if I don’t do it the way I want to?) or I just run out of enthusiasm.
This blog has been the main casualty of me becoming more engaged in life. I switched departments about three years ago and now instead of pretending to edit while blogging, I have to write. So I find myself saving the best puns and turns of phrases for those who pay me for them. And promise a wider audience.
The easiest thing I can do is write about my shoes and I am fighting very much against turning this into a fashion blog.
My work is more rewarding that I expected it to be. I’m still not sure whether I should talk about it. Will that jinx it or push positivity into unblinking face of the universe? What is the current wisdom on this?
Anyway, one of my joys is being able to torment bright young people and relentlessly bully them. There have been threats of complaining to the HR department, but those guys will probably just patent this as a training program. Sometimes the chicks survive and shame me.
One such is my Chutki, the annoying Gujju intern. She is also responsible for helping me cross No 20 off my Life List. Sonal Ved is now an independent food writer of some dispute. She blogs at When Harry met Celery about the fantastic vegetarian food she claims to make.

I have not yet tasted said food and can’t confirm she actually makes all this. As we say in the business, the food she allegedly makes.

Non-Bombay readers, move on

I went to the Malad’s Infinity 2 Mall two weeks ago, and it affirmed my belief that the universe is expanding to make room for Mumbai. One of the things I love about my job is that it doesn’t allow a goldfish existence. I get to see every forsaken corner of the city, sometimes in the same day. Even then, there are places I have never seen before.
Infinity 2 is now the mall to go to -— it has Zara, Mango, Forever New, Vero Moda, Promod, Cotton World, Aldo, Accessorize, Charles and Keith and FabIndia. In pre-Infinity terms, going to all of these stores would mean three different malls spread out between Colaba and Parel. I like wandering through these stores during sales and to be smug because I’m cheap like that. Malad is also home to MM’s malpuas (the best I have tasted) and that other malpua, *Josh.
Lacoste had invited me to salivate over their Autumn-Winter line. I associate polo tees with day-wear meant for the golf course or lounging around the sports club in. And my friend NJ who dresses only in sportswear. He recently bought a Jaguar and now I will rib him about he settled for Indian luxury car, that too one from Tata. “Does the boot catch fire,” I will ask him cleverly. But Naveen doesn’t hang out with us anymore. I don’t know why.

Coming back to Lacoste, there are few things that caught my eye. First, this styling detail of using two slim belts. I’d like to try that using two braided belts of different thickness. Also, they are bringing adorable pleated wool skirts back.


The librarian in me wants to wear this with rich merlot cabled tights, T-strap wedges or Mary Janes. AND NOTHING ELSE. Then I will sit in a velvet-curtained room reading Bram Stoker’s Dracula and eating Galaxy. I love the Indian colours in their traditional silhouettes and this dress now sits in my closet.


A few other things that caught my eye:
The swimsuit for the modest but chic sunbather


Chappals for a beach holiday


And the Swallow print scarf. I really like this print and a scarf would be a nice way to own it and incorporate into an outfit after the trend has tired out.


This limited edition shirt with an assemblage of Ming Dynasty porcelain shards


And these wooden soled platforms that the stylist wore. Smooth platforms are all over the trendtown right now and I would get a pair if I didn’t fall down so often.


* I am guilty of keeping many vivacious dogs from you people. Josh is one of those puppies we’ve been pressing against the wound in our hearts. These are all excellent, excellent doggies. But they are no Boo.

Quick links

1. Anand Prakash’s stationary makes great nostalgia gifts for homesick NRIs, and me.

2. Jholas. Also for homesick NRIs and me.

3. Sarcasm by me, for me.

The panchayat of Lank village, near New Delhi, recently banned unmarried girls from using cell phones to prevent them from eloping with their lovers. I can’t help but agree vociferously. As an educated city rat, I can’t tell you how much I miss captivity, ignorance and my chastity belt. Why just cell phones, there are many more technologies womankind would be better without.


They tried to talk me out of it, but I was a woman with a dream. High on the launch of the SaM store, I marched ahead. I had achieved a cherished dream and stepped into a magical decade. Nothing could stop me. After all, wasn’t I the one who had given this paper one of its most iconic headlines?
The story was about how to tone your gluteal muscles. The headline:

Kadak Bun Pa-o

I’ll bow to every small victory.
Once, I used to sneak in song titles and literary references. How lame was that?

And a special mention to Vycus for the exceptionally ghatiya picture.

Give me your money

Swasta Ani Masta Shop is finally open. Apart from the usual stuff I feature on the site, we’ve tried to curate one-off sample pieces or those rejected due to minor defects. I’ve worked out the international shipping, but if you live in India, drop me a line and I’ll find out the courier rates. Whew. One more thing done.
Now I can go back to ignoring this blog.

Day 12: Birthday Plans

As older readers of this blog would know, I get VERY EXCITED about my birthday. And the coming one is altogether special since I will be turning 30. I’m planning city wide celebrations and making lists of all the things I want to do. This way, whoever is free and in the area can join me and I’ll be spared the stress of having to make sure everybody is having a good time.
HOWEVER, my former best friend has decided to get married. AND has found no day more suitable for the task than the 13 of February. Hence I find myself torn between celebrating my 30th birthday, which will most certainly never come again, and celebrating my 30th birthday, which will most certainly never come again.
The other choice is to hijack his birthday, which falls on January 24 (or is it 23? 26? 19?). It’ll feel a little fake but at least I’ll be able to cash in on his guilt and get an extra special treat.
Or I can be mature and understanding and plan a special ‘last single’ birthday for him, attend his wedding and celebrate mine a little later in the week. GHANTA.

New project

Adding to the astonishing list of unfinished projects is the new blog Style Per Diem. I didn’t like how the What I’m Wearing page looked on this blog and most importantly, I couldn’t see what you were wearing.
G, whom I met through this blog, has kindly nurtured my enthusiasm. Surprisingly, not all girls on the Internet are ageing bald men.
We’ve got a few posts courtesy my sartorially inspirational sister-in-law, the Foreignchi Patlin and other friends.
We’d all like to see what you’re wearing, so if you have a WordPress account, just drop me or G a line at inopinate at gmail or educatedtatya at gmail and we’ll add you as contributor. The shortcut is to send us a picture with a description, and mentally will us to get around to posting it.

As promised

If you look up to the tabs, persuasive reader, you’ll see the What I’m Wearing Today section. I don’t know how to make each update a separate post, but I’m working on it. I’m sure it’s nothing a few sexual favours can’t solve.
This is fun because I’ve photographed myself in various public and office loos and contorted, while looking engrossed in the camera screen, to get a picture of the entire ensemble.
So now that I have bowed to your will, show me what you’re wearing. Send me an e-mail at educatedtatya at gmail to point me to your blog or photo pool.