Agar maa ka doodh piya hai toh…

You say you LOVE Amar Akbar Anthony. But do you really? KK and me challenge you to our A3 quiz.

1. Kothon pe taale kyu lag jayenge?
a. Ghar ki murgi makhanwala hone lagi to
b. Nadira ke pair kabar mein latkane lage to
c. Lakshmi jaisi ladkiyon ki shaadi hone lagi to

2. Tayyab Ali ke ghar mein bijli kyu kadki?
a. Akbar Illahabadi ne photoki jo khinchi
b. Anthony ke gusse ka shola jo bhadka
c. Rim jhim badal jo barsa

3. Anthony ko shaadi banane ke liye kaisa ladki mangta?
strong>a. Jo Zybysko ke saath package deal mein mil jaye
b. Jisko dekhke dil ki ghanti bajne lage
c. Jiska pura naam ho Sandra from Bandra

4. What does maaji get Akbar for good luck before his big qawwali performance?
a. Uncle Chips
b. Flowers
c. A see-through green tunic

5. What does Kishen Seth’s tatoo say?
a. Swiss Maid
b. Kishen Lal
c. Amar Prem

6. How does maaji get her eyesight back?
a. Shirdiwale Sai Baba gives it to her
b. A very successful eye surgery
c. Daily dose of vitamin A supplements

7. How does Anthony save Jenny from the goons?
a. Slips them a mickey
b. Kidnaps their women and children
c. Dresses up as a scarecrow

8. How do Amar, Akbar and Anthony celebrate their reunion?
a. By going to the Gymkhana Easter celebration
b. All three couples sing along in a windy Mahindra Jeep
c. By creating a trust fund for the local church, temple and mosque

9. Whiskey mein maza kyon nahin aa raha?
a. Kyonki woh whiskey nahin, brandy hai.
b. Kyonki hum aayce dalna bhool gaya.
c. Kyonki hame izzatka falooda pasand hai.

10. Who plays Jenny’s decoy at the airport?
a. Zeenat Aman
b. Hema Malini
c. Helen

11. Anthony kis pe haath nahin uthata?
a. Police pe. Apan vardi ki bahut izzat karta hai
b. God pe. God hamara mai-baap hai
c. Ladies log pe. Ladies log se dance karne ka

12. Tareef teri, nikali hogi dilse. Par lab pe kaisi aayi?
a. Shaayari banke
b. Banke qawaali
c. Gana banke

13. Life mein aadmi aisa kab bhagta hai?
a. Toilet ka case ho
b. Olympic ka race ho, ya police ka case ho
c. Car ka chase ho

14. Pyaar ka sabse bada dushman kaun hai?
a. Tayab Ali. Hai Hai
b. Robert Seth. Hai Hai
c. Father Gonsalves. Hai Hai

15. What does Robert offer Anthony in return for hiding him from the cops?
a. Gold bar
b. Wad of cash
c. Biscoot

Edit: V, husband of 30in2005, has these to add.

1. After how many years do the brothers meet one another again?
(a) 20
(b) 21
(c) 22

2. Who burns Mukri’s House?
(a) Robert Seth
(b) Bijli
(c) Ranjeet

3. What disease forces Nirupa Roy to run away to attempt suicide?
(a) Cholera
(b) TB
(c) Loss of sight

4. Which cricketer left for West Indies without meeting Anthony?
(a) Andy Roberts
(b) Michael Holding
(c) Malcolm Marshall

5. What is “just a position by the haemoglobin of the atmospheric pressure in the country”?
(a) A straight line
(b) The coefficient of the linear
(c) The curvature of the globe

For answers, rent the movie and pay attention.

As promised

If you look up to the tabs, persuasive reader, you’ll see the What I’m Wearing Today section. I don’t know how to make each update a separate post, but I’m working on it. I’m sure it’s nothing a few sexual favours can’t solve.
This is fun because I’ve photographed myself in various public and office loos and contorted, while looking engrossed in the camera screen, to get a picture of the entire ensemble.
So now that I have bowed to your will, show me what you’re wearing. Send me an e-mail at educatedtatya at gmail to point me to your blog or photo pool.

Racing against loss of interest

Things I’ve been planning:
A section for what I’m wearing every day, just to “start a discussion” so I can see what you are wearing every day. An endeavour I hope will lead to us exchanging clothes we don’t wear any more and bring about a small measure of world peace, for a fraction of the cost of war.

Have a Twitter-like site called Secret Librarian, where all three of us, can rant about our favourite grammatical mistakes. To be fair, this was TB’s idea, taking off from one of my category names. But the tag line, is all mine. Imagine it now:

You came and you changed my world. Just like in the movies


Or, should I just fulfill my tags?


My nose piercing closed again. My sister got married last month and it was specifically for the ceremony that I had my nose attacked. I wore my grandmother’s nath.
I had bought a diamond stud to wear for the reception, but didn’t have the time to change into the diamond.
The universe is unyielding on a contract.
“We remember you specifically saying nath. You didn’t say life-long adornment. We’ll have to close now. Tissue, begin regeneration. Vessels, counter-attack metal with blood. Call pus for back-up.”

My body is trying to tell me something, but I’d rather listen to you:

I have won an award

From dear F. She, the moleskine giver.
But I’m not giving it back. No sir. Not passing this one on. Not naming bloggers who I think deserve this. I’m holding on tight to this one.

Instead, I’d like all of you reading this to consider yourself a winner (because you are all winners in my eyes. So what if I have the award to prove it).
Pretend you’ve been awarded the reflective phallic symbol at a respectful, not-too-ostentatious ceremony and applauded by the erudite and aesthete.

Now your agent insists you do the press thing and come aboard my talk show. You’re wearing some very tasteful but conservative clothes that have been thrown at you, but you still have your glasses on. Come into my parlour.

1. So you’ve got the Brilliante! Did you see that coming?
2. Tell us about your last post. What inspired it?
3. Do you often sit at that keyboard, staring at the monitor, with nothing to write? Are those moments excrutiating or liberating?
4. Tell me, does your mama know?
5. Any new posts we should be looking out for? Something exciting you’ve been working on?
6. How do you do this? I mean it’s incredible. You’re a mother, a sister, a wife, a slacker or a man… and you’re also a blogger! How do you juggle the roles? Do you say, “No. I will not wipe my ass today. I will instead write that post.” How do you prioritise?
7. Do you consider yourself a Brilliante Blogger or is it easier to write without thinking about the expectations?
8. You know, you’re quite an inspiration to young bloggers. Does that worry you? Do you have any webpages of advice for them?
9. If not a blogger, what would you have been?
10. What does your partner’s opinion of you art? Does s/he read or proof-read your material?

Thank you for coming on the show. You look lovely. Though I saw the same thing on Fashion Street the other day for 200 bucks. Hope you didn’t pay more for it. Ladies and gentlemen, a big thank you to insert_blogger_name_here

Please post your answers on your blog and link back to me (so that I can show off my shiny award) or in the comments here. Or you can e-mail them to educatedtatya at Gmail.

Some very pertinent questions

Which Bill Murray would you rather be?
a. From Groundhog Day — Forced to repeat the same day again and again
b. From Ghostbusters — Sarcastic ass-hole exterminator of the undead
c. From Steve Zissou — Best dad in the whole world
d. From Lost in Translation — Lost, old, and looking to be found

(I would have to choose B for the job description and grow in C. Also for the job description.)

If you had to be a celebrity’s best friend for a day, who would it be?
a. Shilpa Shetty
b. Smriti Irani

Questions brought to me by merlin and TB.

Things that could cheer me up

Afternoons filled with Sesame Street
Trolling a karaoke bar
To instantly learn to play a musical instrument, at expert level
To make a south-Indian music video*
One more dog

*In fact, why dream when you can dare to be stupid. I’m sure you know friends and friends of friends who can edit and handle video cameras and all that. Let’s pick a song, watch the video, memorise the moves and put it together. Who’s in? We don’t even have to be in the same country.