FAQ

Isn’t it pointless to write under a pseudonym when your photo is up on the site?
Most readers know my real name and there was no driving need to hide it until the unfortunate events of October 07 when my father Googled it. After that, I spent many hours re-writing much of this website, creating e-mail ids and changing names of the photographs and re-posting them.
As a mark of respect for all that hard work, you can call me ET or Tatya.

Are you really married to The TB?
Indeed I am. I even had a piece of paper to prove it but he lost it the one time I let him take charge of it.

Does TB want to sell his bike?
Sometimes. But they get back together very fast so I’ll have to ship it you very quickly.

What kind of a dog is Boo?
BooBoo Parekh-Burman is a rescued dog.
The reason I emphasise this is because you may go out and buy a purebred dog because you believe they are better behaved (not true) or more intelligent (inbreeding accentuates genetic defects) or just cuter. You may get one on Valentine’s Day, but your parents won’t allow you to keep him/her. You may get one to make a pretty family picture or to get chicks or to channel your black money.
You may realise he/she has a personality and does things such as poop, drool and nibble. Then you might keep him/her in a cage outside your home/hotel/petrol station where he/she will grow lonely and depressed and develop maggots.
Then someone one is obliged to call the police and take him off your hands and give up a large portion of their bed for him/her.
So please don’t buy dogs. Steal them from people who don’t deserve them or adopt from your local shelter or NGO.
I also don’t emphasise the breed because I feel like a class traitor to have a pedigree dog.

Can I have him?
No, but you can borrow him for a few hours. It’ll give us the chance to try out this sex thing all the kids are talking about.

How many dogs do you have?
Apart from Boo, I have two half Labrador-half stray boys (dead as of 2009) and two complete mongrels who are my mother’s dogs. I had to put down my oldest dog Cassie on February 4, 08. She was part German Shepherd, part Border Collie and a bit of Arab stray.

How can you be so funny?
I have low self-esteem and a good memory. Which means I can recall a good turn of phrase I may have read or heard and use it to my advantage. And since I spend most of my time making sure professional writers don’t do the same, I have learnt to disguise my plagiarism well. Also, brutal honesty makes people smile. I can’t understand why.

What does Educated Tatya mean?
The name Educated Tatya comes from a Gujarati rhyme sung by scouts and guides on treks and camps. Tatya is the generic name for a native of Maharashtra, much like John Smith would be in the western world. It implies a peasant, or more accurately a simpleton or the village idiot.

The rhyme is:
I am an educated Tatya
and I love my kolminu patya

You are very vocal about not wanting children. Is that just for attention?
My reasons for not procreating are as follows:
a) I carry a lot of emotional baggage and don’t want to be responsible for the upbringing of a child. To put it simply, I’m an emotional retard.
b) I’m selfish and irresponsible. Only selfless individuals should be parents.
c) Population is our biggest problem. I don’t want to add to it.
d) I like money and freedom.
e) I hope to have some adventures and can’t go on them while I’m lactating or when my child has exams.
f) I am mortified of labour

You obsess about dogs. Don’t you think that’s your maternal instincts?
At least they won’t hate me when they grow older. Or ask for money.

Are you always picking faults in other people’s writings?
Yes. It reminds me to be more careful with my own.

What is the nature of your relationship with other dogs?
We’re just good friends.

Do I know you? You seem familiar.
I seem to have an every-girl kind of face, and people I have no chance of knowing, swear I grew up in their neighbourhood. But if you do know me, can provide proof and chocolate, HI! IT’S ME!