Closet Sweep: Day 28

Kurta: Like I mentioned on Twitter, FabIndia suppliers held a Seconds sale and I bought two kurtas there. This was one of them. I fell for the print and colour; the other one is plain white.

Churidaar: There used to be this store in Vashi that had the best stretch churidaars. Not stretch like tights, but cottons ones with a bit of lycra in them. I own turquoise blue, canary yellow (of course!) and bottle green. Since my kurtas tend to be white or ivory, I can throw any churidaar under them and look co-ordinated. This one is bottle green.

Stole: My mother’s coarse woolen, Kutchi shawl with real zari. As it had green in it, it co-ordinated with the rest of the outfit without impinging upon my brain. Thanks!

Shoes: Braided thing chappals that are on their way out. Speaking of which, if you are a shoe size 40, I have a pair of green braided sandals you could wear*.

Accessories: A wooden kada, a silver kada and a brass bangle. I usually throw in bangles intuitively, mixing colours, motifs, materials, textures and thickness. Since last year, stores have been selling such composites. If only I could have monetized on this utterly useless talent. Story of my life.

Bag: I use a backpack for work so that it can carry my dabbas, books, electrical accessories, wireless keyboard, diary and spare kidney without spraining my back. I keep this small sling bag at work, into which I slip in a camera, phone, wallet, pencil and notebook when I head off nearby.

I don’t wear Indian clothes too often, and don’t know why. Maybe because I associate them with religious and formal occasions, achingly long pujas and bad kanda-pohe. My default setting for such occasions is a silk or cotton kurta with three-fourth sleeves, and a churidaar. At engagements and navjotes, I’ll wear a dupatta. That said, I can’t resist chikankari.

*How do I have clothes and shoes that are not my size? Sometimes, I have to seduce a stall-owner before he allows me to take pictures for SaM. Then I buy a few things, feature them and the response wins his trust. Convo me at educatedtatya at gmail for a pic of the sandals.

Closet Sweep: Day 27

Top: An asymmetrical racer-back. Skimpy, but forgiving. For the lazy seductress.
Pants: Mango Jeans
Sweater: Rs 200, Fashion street. Kimono sleeves
Shoes: Silver Woodlands which are worse for wear, but I am not letting them go so easily.
Accessories: G-Shock watch.

I don’t make an effort for Saturdays. I have wanted a cardigan, but traditional ones make me look like a sack of melons, when clearly I am a sack of toned lean meat with 8 per cent body fat. The kimono-like cut of this one serves well.

Closet Sweep: Day 26

Inner: Rs 100 tank which is tight enough to forgo traditional support wear.
Top: Rs 200, Fashion Street. Really gher-wala top which reminds me of a Gujarati kediyu.
Vest: That FabIndia one.
Pants: Mango jeans that are working for it’s upkeep
Shoes: Bugatti black flats.
Accessories: Five rusty gold bangles, G-Shock watch

This outfit makes me feel like a Hungarian/Turkish performing monkey. Like I should hold cymbals and sit on the shoulders of a man who has an accordion. Why am I thinking of this? Is there a popular culture reference?

We want to live in Pune

Pune is in the middle of a real estate explosion and it’s really building aspiration. All manner of adjectives are being enrolled to sell us homes. No hyperbole is safe. Nothing is beyond belief.

For instance, you should live at Balmoral estate just for the pleasure of watching mythical humanoid- animals romp around the compound. Judging from the sign in the right-hand corner, UK has made some heavy investments in Pune.

In this complex, the surfaces are always dustless, home-makers make dinner wearing gowns and elevator music fills the air.

Unlike it’s crass neighbour, Pune hires wholesomeness. Milind Gunaji is their poster boy. Instead of leggy, pouty, east European models, narayan-peth and nath wearing homely beauties sell you cars and atta. Still, I can’t equate Sharman Joshi with sophistication and elegance, even if he does have a Greek column.

Are you cheerfully ready? Prompt and willing? Are liveliness and briskness your middle names? This is the address for you.

Wanna do something naughty on date night? Hook up with them.

Some places recommend fiscal imprudence.

Others hint disturbing intimacy.

And liveliness.

Here’s a building called Pride Purple.

There was even one that sold a 2BHK in the crotch of an armored angel, but I missed taking a picture of it.

Which brings us to the question, what would you name a housing complex?

Tushar: I’ve waited 9 years for you to ask me this question. Anthony wadi.

Closet Sweep: Day 25

Tunic: Bershka, from Apparel for Rs 650. It is now also available at For Ever (Hill Road, Bandra) for 500 bucks or less.

Tights: Dark Blue.

Shoes: Clarks.

Accessories: Seiko Watch
I love this tunic, but wear only in winter because I can’t see it over jeans. However, the stockings got a run in them and by the end of the day, I had a spider web on my knee. Furthermore, the shoes really cornered an ingrown nail, who took it out on my toe. AND then I had to go chase a story, on a bike, cementing a long-held belief that the universe is not kind to those who wear heels. It could just be me.

Closet Sweep: Day 24

Tee: Striped tee from Cotton World
Pants: Gap jeans
Shoes: Vintage revived Adidas from Myntra.com. Prompt service and I got them on sale. A pair of blue suede Adidas served me through five years of college, but in the following years, running shoes either became thick-soled pogo-sticks or sleek enough to give you Lotus feet. However, these shoes are so true to the original that the tongue is un-cushioned and cuts into the foot, even through socks. Guys, cheat a little.

Accessories: Bloom broach from Chemistry; Yellow Pashmina; G-Shock Watch.

When I need to feel cute, I blow-dry my fringe straight, wear my hair up and put on a striped tee. It works so well, I’m tempted to get rid of most of my wardrobe at the next garage sale and keep only the silk tanks and my striped tees. They go with everything without looking bland and I don’t have to think about what to wear every morning. And I *do* feel like wearing them every day, so it’s not deprivation at all.

This outfit was built around those shoes, and the co-ordination with the scarf was just a happy co-incidence because I own so much yellow.

Love!

“What do you want for your birthday?”

“A new bike. There’s one coming out in March.”

“What do you want for your birthday that costs 2000 bucks?”

“For 2000 bucks, I’ll talk to you for 15 minutes.”

Closet Sweep: Day 23

Top: Mul top from The Shop
Pants: Gap Jeans
Shoes: Male chappals
Accessories: Casio G-Shock. I have given up wearing earrings since my hair now covers my ears.

So I like mul, Chinese shirts and the colour green; hence the top. You know what has been liberating? Owning only two pairs of jeans. I alternate them every week, and since the Zara one is such a good fit, it feels like real paisa-vasool.

Dusting the life-list

My bucket list is irritating me. I don’t like it. It’s all over the place and not very well thought out. I’m firing it. What I want in its place is something more precise, less elaborate and lesser things to strike off. There are so many smaller, less grandiose plans I have for a fulfilling life and I can’t let go of them.

1. Get a job that makes me travel
Most of the bullet points on my list are about going somewhere. However, I hate the planning; the evaluation that follows of which place is better, more suited for activity, more satisfying. As if I can know that without going there. Plus, I don’t get too many holidays and planning for them makes me so stressed that I’d rather stay at home and spy on Rio.
On the other hand, I get excited about going anywhere — even to Satara or Pune. I am not partial to modes of transport, or comfort elves. So Universe, land me a job that send me everywhere. Make me complain about living out of suitcase.

2. Ride a 360 degree roller coaster
I love amusement parks, and scary rides. 360 degree roller coasters have always amazed me, especially since I consider the laws of Physics a kind of magic.

3. Exercise every day
Fuck the weight loss and looking pretty. TB’s genes will ensure that he outlives me by at least two decades and I want to be around as long as possible to make sure he doesn’t have much fun. My vices are slowly leaving me, without much effort on my part, but I need to be healthier. So I must take the stairs, walk when I can, eat better and sleep right.

4. Dance to Crazy Little Thing Called Love
Like full scale throw-me-over-the-shoulder-to-that-other-guy kind of synchronized dancing. I love dancing, right? But I never do it unless I pay for a class and turn it into serious business.

5. Visit every state in India
So far, I have been to: Delhi, Tamil Nadu, Sikkim, Bengal, Goa, Pudducherry and so briefly to Kerala that it doesn’t count.

6. Be self employed.
To see more sunlight. To do more things. To make time my own.

7. Be financially secure.
Who do you think is going to fund the adventures, you stupid bitch?

8. Work in another city
While I love Mumbai, I think it’s a bit myopic way of functioning having lived in only one city in India.

I’m keeping it short for now. If I have to remind myself to commune with animals or take a stupid risk, I am not the person I think I am. For now, I need to strike these things off.

2. Do a dog training course
10. Taste fresh blueberries
11. Taste fresh raspberries
12. Taste avacado
20. Be a good mentor
31. A roadtrip with doggie and TB
42. Para-sail over a valley
44. Give a dance recital on stage as an adult
47. Meet Devdutt Pattnaik (mythologist) for coffee
54. Be rid of financial insecurity
56. Live on a kibbutz

Closet Sweep: Day 21

Dress: What I suspect is an HM dress found on Hill Road. It has a nice geometrical print in white. I don’t wear red, I don’t wear flouncy dresses, but this one had my heart. However, it’s neckline is not accommodating or flattering, so this is only the third time I have worn it. I’ve tried it with an inner, under a sweater, but looks like it is going to have to go. Goodbye pretty red dress. Convo me if you want it.

Inner: A bottle green spaghetti tank.

Blazer: The Zara one. This outfit feels a little Duchess of Cambridge to me. Very girlie and pretty.

Shoes: These Bugati flats. Seriously, these are lined with virgin breasts. Not the silicon type. I also love how they are almost my skin colour.

Accessories: Ruby studs and this automatic Seiko.